


Local Mage requires recipe for Roast Goose

by LazuliAlekto



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Bunny Farm Escapee, Friends to Lovers, M/M, magical au, tagged M for language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-29
Updated: 2020-02-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:49:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22950508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LazuliAlekto/pseuds/LazuliAlekto
Summary: “Accidentally?  Accidentally!” Ignis shouted incredulously as he skirted around the dining table to avoid having his ass pecked.  His voice was growing shriller by the second.  “How does one accidentally summon a bloody goose?”  He resorted to jumping up on the table, then was reminded that geese have wings for a reason.“You told me to look through the stupid book,” Noct muttered petulantly.Ignis vaulted off the table and put the couch betwixt him and the goose, “I told you to read it, not fucking say any of the spells out loud.”Noct’s mouth dropped open.  Ignis swore.  Ignis swore.  His mentor was the most proper person he knew.  He didn’t swear.  Or apparently he did when being chased by a goose.  It would have been funny if it weren’t so shocking.  Well, actually, it was kind of funny.
Relationships: Noctis Lucis Caelum/Ignis Scientia
Comments: 14
Kudos: 114





	Local Mage requires recipe for Roast Goose

**Author's Note:**

> An AU where Ignis is Noct's mentor in magic, and as usual Noct is less than enthused about learning.

The Soulmate Goose of Enforcement

Soulmate AU where one person finds a goose who leads them to the other person. The difficulty comes in not being mauled by a goose

“Noctis? Noct? Why is there a bloody goose in the bathroom?”

Ignis’ dulcet accented tone was sounding close to shrill, his footsteps hurried and harried as he almost ran into the kitchen. Followed by a large, rather insistent goose, honking in an obscenely loud manner as it chased Ignis.

“Shit,” Noct hissed. He flipped through the tome in front of him, trying to locate the page he’d been reciting from a few minutes prior. “I may have accidentally summoned it.”

“Accidentally? _Accidentally!_ ” Ignis shouted incredulously as he skirted around the dining table to avoid having his ass pecked. His voice was growing shriller by the second. “How does one accidentally summon a bloody goose?” He resorted to jumping up on the table, then was reminded that geese have wings for a reason.

“You told me to look through the stupid book,” Noct muttered petulantly.

Ignis vaulted off the table and put the couch betwixt him and the goose, “I told you to _read_ it, not fucking _say_ any of the spells out loud.”

Noct’s mouth dropped open. Ignis swore. _Ignis_ swore. His mentor was the most proper person he knew. He didn’t swear. Or apparently he did when being chased by a goose. It would have been funny if it weren’t so shocking. Well, actually, it _was_ kind of funny.

“I didn’t mean to,”Noct retorted. “I was just trying to memorise them.”

“And did that succeed?”

Noct scratched his head, “ahh, no, not exactly.”

“You were the one who summoned the blasted thing,” Ignis huffed, darting from behind the couch to the relative safety of an occasional chair while the goose flapped on the couch, feathers floating about the room. “Why the hell isn’t it chasing you?”

Noct shrugged, eyeing the goose suspiciously, “that is kinda weird.”

“Noctis! Focus,” Ignis shouted, vaulting over the arm of the chair as the goose made a break for it. “Why is it here? I’d really rather not kill it, although roast goose is sounding particularly appealing right about now.”

Noct winced, “yeah, umm.” He flicked back a few more pages, finding the rendering of a goose. He read the first line again and thudded his head down on the counter with a groan. “Shit.”

“Noctis,” Ignis warned.

“Well, _you_ might be able to kill it, you’re better at this shit than I am…”

Ignis rounded the kitchen counter, taken aback when the goose waddled close and promptly sat on it ass, quiet for the first time since he had spied the blasted thing in the bath tub. He gave it a wary glance then snatched the book from Noct’s hands scanning the page. His green eyes were comically wide when he stared at Noctis, “an immortal goose.” He swallowed, peering down at the creature, “you summoned an _immortal_ goose,”he whispered.

“At least it’s progress,” Noct said with a wince, trying to look contrite.

Ignis pointed at him menacingly, “once we are rid of this creature, you and I will be sitting down to discuss several things, one of which will be the importance of focus.” He stepped closer to Noct, finger to his chest, “and what constitutes as progress.”

“Aww, c’mon, Speccy, at least nothin’s on fire this time.”

“That _that_ is what you deem to be relevant speaks of how much you still have to learn.” Ignis leaned back against the counter, pinching the bridge of his nose, “you are smart, Noctis, but you are lazy and inconsistent.”

Noct eyed the now settled goose, “yeah, I know. I’m sorry.” 

Ignis sighed, “as am I. I feel I am failing you, failing to find a way to keep you engaged.” He removed his glasses and ran his hand down his face, radiating exasperation. “Though, this is not the time for this discussion. We need to discover what the purpose of the goose is so we can dispatch it to whence it came.”

Noct, feeling intensely guilty, turned the book back to himself, starting to scan down the page. “Enforcement?”

Ignis’ head snapped up. He shoved his glasses back on, snatching the book from Noct, eyes racing down the page, his expression growing steadily more horrified and ashen as he read further. “Oh,” he whispered eventually.

“What? What did I do?” Noct asked growing more and more anxious the longer Ignis remained silent. He grabbed Ignis’ arm, shaking him from the stupor he’d fallen into. “I didn’t curse you, or you’re not gonna die are you? Please tell me you’re not gonna die.”

Ignis rolled his eyes, “no, I am not going to die, Noct. Possibly from embarrassment, but not from the appearance of this bloody goose.”

That didn’t assuage Noct’s fears. He was genuinely frightened. Ignis was stoic and always composed, but whatever he had translated from the text had him pale and refusing to meet Noct’s eyes.

Ignis wrenched his arm from Noct’s hold and slammed the spell book shut. 

“What did it say? I only got bits.”

Ignis raised a judgemental brow, “and that is in part what I was talking about. What business did you have reciting a spell without _knowing_ what it did?”

“I was just practising, Ignis.”

The goose shifted as Ignis retreated. The older mage took a hesitant step further from Noct and then ran as the goose extended it’s wings, honking. Noct tried to grab it, but the damn thing was elusive. He threw a ball of ice at it, hoping to knock it out and only succeeded in creating a mini ice skating rink in the hallway. Not particularly helpful, all things considered. The goose did slip a little before taking flight and careening into a wall. But it still was relentless in its pursuit of Ignis. Not even a heavy oak door stopped it.

Noct bent down and looked through the goose shaped hole in the door, blue eyes wide in shock as he watched it circle a very still Ignis.

“Why’s it goin’ crazy again?”

Ignis pursed his lips, then flinched as his tormentor hissed. But he didn’t answer.

The damn thing was hyper focused on Ignis, trying to get around behind him and herd him to the door, but Ignis pressed himself up against the wall and glared at it. If Noct didn’t know it was immortal he would have sworn the goose was going to end up in the oven, stuffed and very headless.

Noct swung the mangled oak door open, mentally making a note to get it fixed at some point. “Speccy, what’s goin’ on? What aren’t you telling me? Why is it ignor…” Noct faltered as the goose swung its head around on its long neck and fixed its beady gaze on him. He took one step back, eyes going wide when the avian menace flapped its wings. Ignis groaned in consternation, hand over his face.

“Noct, I would suggest you leave, as quickly as possible. I will deal with this.”

“Are you kidding me? It’s immortal, what are you gonna do to it?’

Ignis scowled at him, “that is my concern.”

Noct planted his hands on his hips and stared down his mentor, “yeah, not buyin’ that. I summoned the fuckin’ thing, at least let me help get rid of it.”

Ignis winced at his words, “I am afraid its not that simple, Noct.”

“Well, how about you explain it to me, then,” Noct hissed, trying to skirt around the goose. It had extended its wings again, but as Noct moved closer to Ignis, the wings folded over its back and the bloody thing sat down. Noct swore it looked smug.

Ignis looked from the goose to Noct and groaned again, both hands to his face this time.

“Ignis?”

“It’s the Soulmate Goose of Enforcement,” Ignis muttered, cheeks flushing, eyes averted from Noct’s

“It’s _what_? What the fuck does that even mean?”

Ignis rolled his eyes, “what do you think it means, Noctis? The blasted thing is here to find me a soulmate and will not leave until it finds one. Or rather, herds me to what it considers my soulmate.”

Noct blinked at the goose, the goose blinked at Noct.

“Umm,” he said. “I…uh…” He scratched his head, “so…it wants you to…get with someone?”

Ignis sighed, sounding entirely too put upon for Noct’s liking. “Yes, that is the gist of it. It will get violent with those who it deems inappropriate, and will chase me towards someone it considers acceptable.”

“So, _it_ decides. Not you?”

“Well, no, not exactly,” Ignis murmured.

Noct stared at Ignis for a long minute. “You said it gets violent with people who aren’t right.” Ignis grimaced and averted his gaze, pink colouring his cheeks. “Why isn’t it getting violent with me?”

Ignis blanched, still refusing to look at Noct.

Or speak.

“Ignis?”

Ignis groaned, running his hand down his face, “it’s not important right now, Noct.”

Noct smelled bullshit. “Uh, yeah, I kinda think it is.” He narrowed his eyes at Ignis, “what does it do to people it thinks are right, Ignis?”

More silence. The goose looked from Ignis to Noct and back again, fluffing its feathers menacingly. Noct ignored it. He was far more interested in Ignis answer. Which still was not forthcoming.

“Ignis?” This time his mentor’s name was growl.

“Nothing!” Ignis shouted. “It does nothing to them,” he added much quieter. “But, that does not mean anything, you summoned it…”

“The caster is not immune to the effects of any spell he casts,” Noct quoted.

Ignis huffed, annoyed. “Why do you chose _now_ to remember your lessons?”

Because it was convenient for him to do so. But Noct didn’t say that, instead he just stared at Ignis. Meanwhile, the goose just stared at them both.

“Will you please just let this go, Noctis,” Ignis said, so quietly, so plaintive that Noct winced internally. All Ignis’ usual confidence and poise was gone, replaced by shame and embarrassment. “Please,”he pleaded, sounding so broken that Noct almost did as he was asked.

“So,” Noct drawled. “This soulmate? If this…hypothetical person were to, say, kiss you, would that get rid of the goose of whatever?”

Ignis went even paler, “Noctis,” he hissed. “You cannot be thinking…” Ignis trailed off, eyes wide as saucers, apparently realising what he had said.

Noct stepped right into Ignis’ personal space, “nope, not me, _I’m_ not thinking anything.” Lies, utter lies. And he could tell Ignis was fully aware of that fact from the sudden blush across his cheekbones. He planted a hand on Ignis’ chest, feeling the rabbit like beat of his heart. That told him enough. “Hypothetical person, Ignis.”

Ignis almost snorted, but he _did_ roll his eyes. Another thing he didn’t do was move away from Noct.

“This needn’t mean that…”

Noct glared at him, “yes, it does, and we’ll talk about that later, but right now, let’s get rid of that fucking goose.” Ignis backed up as far as he could, green eyes still wide as he looked down at Noct. In the meantime, Noct followed until Ignis had nowhere to go and he could press against him.

Noct went up on his toes, brushing his lips over Ignis’, pulling back to see Ignis blinking rapidly. He sank back down, too busy gauging Ignis’ reaction to bother with the goose. Ignis, apparently, had completely forgotten about his avian captor, because the next thing he did was grab the lapels of Noct’s robe and duck his head to mash their mouths together.

When they eventually parted it was with spit slick, swollen lips, heaving chests, and very pink cheeks.

There was nothing left of the goose except a pile of feathers and a goose shaped hole in the bathroom door.


End file.
